


Red Dress, Grey Tie

by LilyAngorian



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: But nothing explicit yet, Malcolm stumbles through a new relationship, Multi, References to Malcolm/Jamie, Sexy talk and flirting, With a woman who knows how to call the shots, fluffy in places
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAngorian/pseuds/LilyAngorian
Summary: Eight weeks ago Malcolm ran into a woman he can't seem to shake off. He's not sure he really wants to shake her off, but she certainly doesn't seem like a good idea. Playing with fire never seemed so easy, and besides, hookers are just too expensive in this financial climate.





	1. An Afternoon In The Office

She was tall and willowy, and looking over at him in a way that would normally have him sinking to his knees in submission. But, blushing like a schoolgirl, Ollie reminded himself that he was standing feet away from Malcolm's office. Besides, his trousers were clean on that morning, and that wasn’t a common occurrence now he no longer had to impress Emma. He’d taken to only washing underwear when he’d worn them inside out and back to front, and that was underwear, so the washing machine hadn’t been much needed recently. As she batted blue eyes and twisted a strand of blonde hair between her fingers he actually questioned whether Glenn had spiked his coffee for a joke. Surely a creature like this couldn’t be real, and if she was, what on earth was she doing leaning against Sam’s desk, crossing and uncrossing her legs, red dress slipping further and further up her thighs as she did so…

…”Panting like a feral dog.” Malcolm announced from directly behind him, and a little bit of pee came out.

“Jesus Malcolm…what are you doing?”

“It’s my fucking office. What are you doing, besides making a mental note of what to ask for when you go in for your sex change? You’ve no hope on that by the way, no amount of surgery could sort you out.”

“I was, well, I wanted your confirmation that we were okay to go ahead with that policy launch later. Nicola’s lost the plot a bit, I mean no more than usual, but you know what she’s like. I thought that if you officially told her she had to announc-“

“-Yeah, yeah do I look like I want to talk about this? Tell her to get on with it, or I’ll make sure she has to do it at gunpoint.”

“Thank you Malcolm.”

“Well, I do get paid to make people shit themselves.”

The Scot was glancing over Ollie’s shoulder to the woman on the desk, lips twisting into what could have been mistaken for a smile if it hadn’t been Malcolm doing it. Ollie’s curiosity got the better of him and he risked a question, 

“Are you replacing Sam then?”

Malcolm turned back to him, eyes narrowing.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Your guest. If you don’t mind me saying, she looks a bit out of your price range.”

“Actually I’m his sister, but thank you for the compliment. I’ve no doubt I’m out of your price range.”

Ollie turned sharply, fiery colour rising once more in his cheeks as he spluttered at the young woman, who had appeared without warning at his shoulder. He wondered if his hearing was going. 

“We haven’t been introduced, naughty of Malcolm, my name’s Kate.”

She offered a hand, and he squeezed it weakly, trying to direct his eyes higher than her chest. It was a struggle. 

“Ollie Reeder. Sorry, did you say…you're Malcolm’s sister? How, exactly can..?”

“How can a geriatric like Malc have such a baby sister? Dad had a fling with one of the nurses in the care-home, isn’t that right Malcolm? I imagine history will repeat itself when this one finally gets put out to pasture.”

She giggled, stroking a hand down Malcolm’s arm as he shook his head slightly, seeming keen to ignore her comments completely. Ollie looked between them confused, unable to decide on what to say. But Malcolm had clearly had enough. 

“Ollie?”

“Yes?”

“What the fuck are you still doing here?”

“Good question, and I don’t have an answer. Well, uh, Kate it was lovely to meet you. A pleasure as always Malcolm.”

He practically fled the room, feet scuffing the carpet as he looked back over his shoulder to get a final glance at her. When his footsteps had retreated down the corridor, Malcolm gestured wordlessly to Kate to follow him into his office. She closed the door behind her, back pressed against it as she grinned. Malcolm was staring at her from a few feet away, an incredulous look on his face.

“My sister? Is that what you told them to get in here too?”

“They were remarkable easily to convince. I’d think about hiring new guys if I was you, the security’s very lax.”

“What did you tell them?”

“Family tragedy, that you’d be furious if they kept me waiting. Probably get them sacked, you know, the usual. I did my best Scottish accent and everything.”

“I’m sure that was a performance not to be missed. Dressed like that though, they probably came to other conclusions.”

“So they think your sister is a hooker. What does that matter, you still love me anyway don’t you? Just promise not to tell daddy...”

“Kinky bitch.”

“Always.”

She walked slowly over to him, looking up at him through thick lashes, and swinging her hips playfully as she got closer. When she was within touching distance, she tugged at his tie lightly and then slipped past him, dropping down onto his chair and kicking her heels up onto the desk. He faced her, palms down on the desk either side of her shoes.

“You haven't called me for a week.”

“I’m a busy man.”

“Oh I’m sure. I saw Jamie leaving when my car pulled up. He’s almost as pretty as in those photos.”

“I haven’t seen him for days, its a big building. And sex isn’t my job. There’s a difference between fucking people and fucking them over you know.”

“Always compartmentalising. You need to look at the big picture Malcolm.”

“Ugh you sound like that prick Pearson.”

“Ooh which one’s he? Let me guess, bald, glasses? The one you crossed the street to avoid that time I followed you home?”

“Yes. When did you follow me home?”

“Depends which time you’re referring to. I’ve done it a lot.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Makes me feel a bit like a spy. And there’s this Tumblr page of candid shots of you I like to keep updated. It’s doing very well, I suspect you know a lot more perverts than you think.”

“Don’t people have lives anymore?”

“What? You’re ageing like a fine wine, you cant blame the people for demanding pictures of you dripping with rainwater, or drinking coffee on street corners.”

Malcolm sighed, making a mental note to find that page and report it as soon as she had left. 

"Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. But you cant just turn up here alright, you nearly gave Ollie the hands-free orgasm of his life.”

“You sound a little jealous.”

“Of that pathetic little suit? Not fucking likely.”

“Oh I don’t know, he was sort of sweet.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Not really, I took the day off work.”

“Right. Well I’ve got paperwork to do, and Sam’ll be back from lunch at any time. So maybe you should head home. I might be able to stop by this evening.”

“Or I could stay and practice my kneeling, maybe under your desk? It looks pretty roomy down there.” 

“And how do you expect me to work through that?”

“Oh I’m sure you would give it your best effort. Besides, how hard can it be running the country?”

“Tom runs the country. I just tidy up his toys when he throws them out of the pram.”

“Even better. I’ve always wanted to fuck a babysitter.”

“Kate…”

“Shh. You wouldn’t want Sam to hear. She seems too decent to find out who you really are.”

“Fine. But you’re leaving via the back door, and you have to promise to only ever come here with me from now. You’ll draw the wrong kind of attention otherwise.”

“As if its me you’re worried about.” She quipped as she slid to her knees.

“Oh you’d be surprised girl.”


	2. Coffee And Cake

Malcolm knocked at the door, glancing over his shoulder as he did so, coat turned up again the wind. But the street was dark and empty, and he reprimanded himself both for caring and for actually bothering to look. It wasn’t like him to second guess his decisions, but anything involving Kate seemed to rile him and put him on edge. It was unsettling, but somehow addictive. Not like the dull grey stimulants snorted off the edge of a briefcase at five in the morning, but the drugs he’d taken as a youngster, back when it seemed like fun. He wasn’t sure what that meant. Hopefully nothing serious.

She opened the door wide, bathing him in light and smiling when she made out his squinting eyes and mild frown. The belt of her dressing gown slipped free, exposing her underwear, but neither the cold nor the possibility of strangers looking in seemed enough reason for her to retie it. 

“I wasn’t expecting you.”

If that statement was true, it meant that she was about to go to sleep in that lace corset and matching thong. He could almost believe that, but it occurred to him that she may be entertaining someone else. 

“I decided to let them sort their own shit out for a few hours. But if you’re busy, I’m sure there are a few backbenchers I could startle in local brothels instead.”

“As invigorating as I’m sure that would be for you, I’ve just made coffee and there's enough for two. Might be able to sort you out a blowjob as well, if you asked nicely.”

So either she was a masochist hell-bent on the smallest waist in London, or she simply didn’t own anything simple and cotton. Malcolm could smell the coffee from the doorstep, and nodded, at that moment more interested in the former than the latter. As she turned to walk away however, his priorities shifted. He shut the door behind him, eyes too distracted too bother with another look back into the street. 

Her flat was artfully designed, but far more lived-in than his own. There were pillows and rugs and throws everywhere, and thick carpets underfoot. Books were everywhere, hundreds tucked away neatly on the shelves and bookcases, others littering the side-tables and sofas. Besides the coffee, he could smell musky perfume and gin, and the faint trace of Chinese food. He followed her into the kitchen, and she poured a fresh mug and put in down on the table. She eased his coat from his shoulders, and nudged him to sit down as she took it away to hang on the bannister. Malcolm sunk onto one of the kitchen chairs, mildly surprised to hear Radio Four permeating the air, hand reaching immediately for the cup. 

“Aren’t you a bit young for Radio Four?” he called to Kate between gulps.

“27? Probably. But I can never resist the book at bedtime, and I’d take The Archers over Eastenders any-day. Why, are you disappointed that I’m not injecting myself with something neon pink and vibrating to the beat of something aggressively modern?” She wandered back in and reached for her own coffee, grinning over at him. 

“Maybe just the music.”

“Well, I’m not averse, it fits a certain mood. More of a jazz girl when it comes down to it though.”

Malcolm rolled his eyes. 

“And did that originate from before or after the accident?”

“Yes, thank you, you aren’t the first person to make that joke. I suppose you only dance when someone important looses their entire career overnight.”

“Only if they don’t deserve it.”

“I’d like to see that one day.” Her tone changed slightly, became more tender "You look tired.”

“I look dead, but don’t fuss too much, it’s my natural complexion. You can’t buy skin like this you know.”

“Seriously though, I’m not sure one coffee is going to be enough.”

“It’s alright, I’m on autopilot most of the time. Things have just been more fucked up than usual recently.”

“You want to talk about it?”

He eyed her carefully for a moment, but brushed it off. Based on the minimal research he’d been able to do, it unlikely she was the press, but it was hard to tell these days. Didn’t hurt to exercise a little caution. 

“No. It’s infuriating to even think about, and besides, I barely know you.”

“True. Can’t have you exercising that licence to kill.”

“Talking of this…what exactly is the situation?”

She seemed pleased, voice low and teasing as she replied.

“Is that a hint of insecurity I detect Malcolm? You better not have a ring in your pocket.”

“Only the one attached to the grenade, but I’m saving that for a special occasion.”

“Quite right too. As for the situation, it’s whatever you want it to be. I like sneaking around with someone devious and powerful, I like fucking you, and I like being able to pick up wherever we left without worrying about you when you aren’t with me. Full-time relationships are usually a lot of work, let alone when they involve people like me and you.”

“Right. Good.”

He felt himself relax considerably, though he felt simultaneously cheated. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but he agreed with what she’d said, and it’s not like he was in any position to challenge her anyway. He’d long since resigned casual sex with beautiful women to be a thing of the past, and Kate’s arrival in his life had been something of a shock to the system. Something was preferable to nothing, and she was certainly something. 

“Good. You want another coffee, or something stronger?”

“Better stick to the coffee, I’ve got to butter up Nicholson in a few hours, and he’s got the nose of a bloodhound. In fact he’s got the whole face.”

So much for watching what he said. Ah well. 

“I wouldn’t have thought it mattered.”

“Well it doesn’t really, but he’s a slippery bastard and I don’t want to risk him taking advantage. Same reason I always wear my protective butt plugs to work.”

“I did wonder about that. Coffee it is then. I’ve got some soup I can heat up too if you like, or there’s cake if you’d prefer?”

He raised his eyebrows. 

“I thought we’d just established that we weren’t getting married?”

“Food is food. It seemed rude just to start eating it without offering you some first, and unlike some people, I was raised to have manners.”

“What’s the cake?”

“Carrot cake.”

“Who the fuck eats carrot cake? It’s just a vegetable smothered in icing.”

“Is that a no?”

“Well it would be rude to refuse. Not too much though, don’t want to be able to see in the dark. All kinds of fucking monsters out there.”

“Maybe around your way.”

They ate in companionable silence, Kate alternating between eating seductively and just enjoying the taste, which was possibly the most endearing thing Malcolm had ever seen. The cake was too sweet, but though the sugar offended his tongue, it perked his mood a little. 

“Not to cut short our meal, but did you mention something about a blowjob earlier? Only time’s ticking, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.”

“Very kind of you to think about me, but I think all this cake has given me an aching jaw. Maybe you’d prefer to eat something else before you leave?”

She tilted her head and grinned wickedly again. How could he refuse?


End file.
